Saturday, January 31, 2009
Never leave Ragha alone. Never leave Ragha unoccupied even if it’s just a few minutes. Because when such situation arises, Ragha’s mind starts to think. And when such things happen, it doesn’t stop. It just goes on and on and on and on. That’s what happened when Ragha was doing his duty on the first day of Chinese New Year. He spent the whole day thinking and making innocent decisions. Too many. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a paper and a pen to note them down. So now based on his residual memory, he decided to blog what his mind went through for that 24 hours.
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Ragha has decided that he needs time off from the life he is living now. (Wait, why am I typing this in third person view???)…
Yes. This is just another innocent decision I made. I really think that I need to move away from a lot of things that happening around me and spend some time for myself. I haven’t been catching up on myself lately. It has been a very long time that I had actually reflected on my life. I did small snips of them before I got enlisted, but they didn’t cover everything. I think it is time now that I actually reflect upon the things since 2008. Yes, it’s a year of reflections. And for that I need time. It may take hours (which is so unlikely), it may take days, even weeks, or months (even more unlikely). Whatever it is, I have decided that this ‘soul searching’ is rather important at this point in time. People may think that it’s too early. I’m 18 and relatively young to be dwelling too much about life and future. But to me, it’s just the first part of the many parts to come in the future years. This is just the foundation initiation of my soul search. I wouldn’t want a weak base to begin with when the time comes for me to set foot into the real world.
Yes. This is just another innocent decision I made. I really think that I need to move away from a lot of things that happening around me and spend some time for myself. I haven’t been catching up on myself lately. It has been a very long time that I had actually reflected on my life. I did small snips of them before I got enlisted, but they didn’t cover everything. I think it is time now that I actually reflect upon the things since 2008. Yes, it’s a year of reflections. And for that I need time. It may take hours (which is so unlikely), it may take days, even weeks, or months (even more unlikely). Whatever it is, I have decided that this ‘soul searching’ is rather important at this point in time. People may think that it’s too early. I’m 18 and relatively young to be dwelling too much about life and future. But to me, it’s just the first part of the many parts to come in the future years. This is just the foundation initiation of my soul search. I wouldn’t want a weak base to begin with when the time comes for me to set foot into the real world.
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Honestly, I miss my school life. To be more exact, my JC life. I never thought that JC life would be having the greatest impact on my school life thus far. I always thought that my secondary school life was the best. Not until now. JC life has proven to be far better – in terms of enjoyment, achievement, lessons – both academically and life ones, friendship… Well, basically, after so many things that I went through in NYJC, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be missing NY. More like, I must miss NY. Thanks NY – especially 0705 and ICS!!!
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Patience. People who know me know that I rarely get angry. More like, never gotten angry before. I’m of course proud to say that I never did get angry before, or even if I did, I have never showed it out.
I never really understood people who come and tell me that they were once people who were very hot-tempered but now they are more toned down. Well, to me temper is just an emotion. Why is it that difficult to control? I personally never felt ‘anger’. So I don’t really know the feeling of being angry and the explosive causes that makes one blow up.
Interestingly, a few days ago, I was thinking about patience. The next day, my godsister Prasana was chatting with me regarding this same issue. Haha. Random but coincidental. You can visit her blog to see what we actually chatted about. She practically posted the whole conversation there.
Basically, is there a limit to being patient? How patient can/should someone be?
I believe that the patience-meter differs amongst individuals. People tend to be more patient to people whom they love or whom they are closer to. This is because they are relatively willing to sacrifice more – whether time or things depending on the situation.
For example, I remember there was once where I had to wait in little India for 2 hours (plus plus) for my sister. I’m not very sure whether I will spend that same two hours waiting for someone whom I newly made friend with (honestly, I think I might). I mean, that’s the basic human instinct. Once they get frustrated of waiting, they just move on with what they need to do. They do have a limit of patience. Once that line is crossed, then comes anger.
I never really understood people who come and tell me that they were once people who were very hot-tempered but now they are more toned down. Well, to me temper is just an emotion. Why is it that difficult to control? I personally never felt ‘anger’. So I don’t really know the feeling of being angry and the explosive causes that makes one blow up.
Interestingly, a few days ago, I was thinking about patience. The next day, my godsister Prasana was chatting with me regarding this same issue. Haha. Random but coincidental. You can visit her blog to see what we actually chatted about. She practically posted the whole conversation there.
Basically, is there a limit to being patient? How patient can/should someone be?
I believe that the patience-meter differs amongst individuals. People tend to be more patient to people whom they love or whom they are closer to. This is because they are relatively willing to sacrifice more – whether time or things depending on the situation.
For example, I remember there was once where I had to wait in little India for 2 hours (plus plus) for my sister. I’m not very sure whether I will spend that same two hours waiting for someone whom I newly made friend with (honestly, I think I might). I mean, that’s the basic human instinct. Once they get frustrated of waiting, they just move on with what they need to do. They do have a limit of patience. Once that line is crossed, then comes anger.
(it's at this point of time where i lost my train of thoughts. i don't remember why. and that's the reason for the abrupt stop in the post about patience.)
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I still remember how I dreaded my last book in. Not because of the stay in or the training. The last book in was would have been one of the best especially since it meant that I would only be in camp for three days before my next book out. But something just didn’t seem right and I didn’t feel nice booking in. I felt that I was leaving something behind, leaving something unattended and the outcome wouldn’t be so good when I return. I just couldn’t put my finger to it. Even now, I don’t know what it is that I’m missing out or ignoring, but I know the outcome is something I don’t wish for.
Like how things are going about now. Not the exact way I expected. However, I daresay that I was prepared for how the situations took turns. Haha. Like the saying goes, ‘better to be safe than be sorry’. Pretty much all of the issues haven’t been settled for a very long time and I haven’t been putting in much effort trying to solve them. I have been leaving time to settle them but it’s just taking a little too long and it doesn’t seem it to help. And so here comes the innocent decision where I plan to do a little something extra to put a fullstop to certain issues. At least I will be a little more prepared to tackle things if they manage to continue.
Like how things are going about now. Not the exact way I expected. However, I daresay that I was prepared for how the situations took turns. Haha. Like the saying goes, ‘better to be safe than be sorry’. Pretty much all of the issues haven’t been settled for a very long time and I haven’t been putting in much effort trying to solve them. I have been leaving time to settle them but it’s just taking a little too long and it doesn’t seem it to help. And so here comes the innocent decision where I plan to do a little something extra to put a fullstop to certain issues. At least I will be a little more prepared to tackle things if they manage to continue.
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Ragha never believed in love – slightly more towards BGR but it still includes any other relationships, especially after all that had happened, not only to him but people all around him. And so now he has really confirmed that love is just bullshit. Haha. So crude, but that’s his believe and so it becomes hard to change. He just wants to put it across to a few out there that it’s time they move on with life. No point waiting for that Ragha ‘wierdo’ to change his mind. Yes, there might be a change but not as what you expect but far from something that you would actually wish for. He wants to be direct and frank but thinks that it will be a little too harsh. Well, he is being nice here. He is blatantly trying to put just this basic statement across – “ Ragha is never going to change his decision, so please do not waste your time, effort, money and everything else waiting for him. He is moving on and doesn’t want to waste time entertaining your love efforts, although he appreciates them”.
Till the next time,
Cheers Folks.
Ragha :)
¶ 2:18 PM 
