Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Came home from nights out. Was in no intention to blog. But my dear sister Kanegal asked to me to update my blog 'cos she has become addicted to reading blogs. And so i decided to pen down some of the thoughts that have been running through my head since the last time i blogged.
Firstly, i realised that i have lost touched with Tamil. Coincidentally, i was just 'msn-ing' Nanthu this. Haha. Yeah. I miss those days that i used to have assignments which made me go online and search about tamil poetry and poets (note: i only miss the lessons, not the tutor.). Not forgetting how hard i tried to remember "thirukkural" to use them in essays, as well as follow some in my life journey. Ask me one now and i am pretty sure i can't even say any. That's how distant i am from tamil language. I used to love that language. That was one of the reasons why i actually took Tamil Langauge and Literature in JC. Even though, i initially wanted to drop it cos i was the only student. But then my passion for the language made me stay on and also prove to 'some' people that i can get my A grade for A levels without their help! Haha. I loved the literature part of the JC syllabus. Made me do alot of research about tamil language and people who got famous because of the language. Not forgettting the power of the langauge itself. It's exceptionally nice when you actually study a language, all the more when you feel that the language is yours.
I also wanna take up courses. Any course. Because i'm very sure that since the time i got enlisted to NS, my brain has stopped functioning the way they used to when i was in JC. It does function but not even a quarter of what it used to do 6 months back. I mean this is a good time indeed to actually spend the weekends wisely, doing something that is useful. Of course, all these while, i have been spending my weekends meeting up with friends and loved ones. Not that i'm saying that it isn't good. I do enjoy my time with those people who i meet, ESPECIALLY my NAVAZ. Haha. I can actually open a website for NavaZ - to talk about all the fun we have and to upload all the photos that we take. K coming back... So, during this two years of serving the nation, i guess i shouldn't let it go to a waste giving NS as a reason.
Oh. Oh. I have to talk about this. I really don't understand people who live a double life. Like why? Until now i don't see the necessity. I know alot of people who actually live such a life, or is it considered lives? They just are different to some and different to others and what's amzing is that, they can actually manage both lives. To some extent, you can praise them for such management skils but at the same time, it isn't something good exactly to be praised for. It's either you be this way or be that way, not both! And it's even harder for people who know that you lead a double life and they cannot actually say it out loud. Simply said, if i know someone who leads a double life, i cannot possibly tell it out to my other friends. The worst part being he/she and I have common friends. It would be so hard to actually make sure that I don't blurt out anything about the other side of his/her life!
Secret being a secret, but you leading a double life isn't exactly a secret. It's pure cheating and betrayal. Right? You are actually cheating those around you into believing that you are this kinda person. And on the other hand you are portraying yourself as another person to other people. This isn't a problem of split personality, like in the tamil movie Anniyan, although the concept of split personality was overdone to a large extent. Split personality, if i'm not wrong is like some disorder and the person isn't exactly sure that he is having such a disease/disorder. But leading a double life - the person is perfectly aware that he is actually living two lives and gains pleasure in doing so. Pardon me if i'm generalising too much when i say that these people gain pleasure living double lives. But that's what i have observed from the many who do that.
On the contrary, i know of some who have realised that they are leading such a disgusting life and are making an attempt to move a way from either one of the lives that they live. Trust me. It isn't easy for them. It's like having to kill a character in a story because you do not exactly know what to do with it. But that's a character in a story - that character doesn't exist. But this is you, human, real. You can't possibly kill yourself and expect to revive yourself as the other person. You cannot possibly totally change you identity into the other because people around you will notice the change or even the similarities.
All in all, the bottom line is, someday, the world (aiya, just exaggerating the fact that people around you) will come to know that you actually have been leading a double life. You cannot possbily hide away that fact. If you move away from that double life the moment you realise it, then maybe you are saved from the criticism from people. But the more you play with the lives of other using your two identities, the more you will have to regret later!
Adiyoz peeps.
Where the ends of a circle don't meet,
Ragha - the Random ¶ 6:54 PM
Firstly, i realised that i have lost touched with Tamil. Coincidentally, i was just 'msn-ing' Nanthu this. Haha. Yeah. I miss those days that i used to have assignments which made me go online and search about tamil poetry and poets (note: i only miss the lessons, not the tutor.). Not forgetting how hard i tried to remember "thirukkural" to use them in essays, as well as follow some in my life journey. Ask me one now and i am pretty sure i can't even say any. That's how distant i am from tamil language. I used to love that language. That was one of the reasons why i actually took Tamil Langauge and Literature in JC. Even though, i initially wanted to drop it cos i was the only student. But then my passion for the language made me stay on and also prove to 'some' people that i can get my A grade for A levels without their help! Haha. I loved the literature part of the JC syllabus. Made me do alot of research about tamil language and people who got famous because of the language. Not forgettting the power of the langauge itself. It's exceptionally nice when you actually study a language, all the more when you feel that the language is yours.
I also wanna take up courses. Any course. Because i'm very sure that since the time i got enlisted to NS, my brain has stopped functioning the way they used to when i was in JC. It does function but not even a quarter of what it used to do 6 months back. I mean this is a good time indeed to actually spend the weekends wisely, doing something that is useful. Of course, all these while, i have been spending my weekends meeting up with friends and loved ones. Not that i'm saying that it isn't good. I do enjoy my time with those people who i meet, ESPECIALLY my NAVAZ. Haha. I can actually open a website for NavaZ - to talk about all the fun we have and to upload all the photos that we take. K coming back... So, during this two years of serving the nation, i guess i shouldn't let it go to a waste giving NS as a reason.
Oh. Oh. I have to talk about this. I really don't understand people who live a double life. Like why? Until now i don't see the necessity. I know alot of people who actually live such a life, or is it considered lives? They just are different to some and different to others and what's amzing is that, they can actually manage both lives. To some extent, you can praise them for such management skils but at the same time, it isn't something good exactly to be praised for. It's either you be this way or be that way, not both! And it's even harder for people who know that you lead a double life and they cannot actually say it out loud. Simply said, if i know someone who leads a double life, i cannot possibly tell it out to my other friends. The worst part being he/she and I have common friends. It would be so hard to actually make sure that I don't blurt out anything about the other side of his/her life!
Secret being a secret, but you leading a double life isn't exactly a secret. It's pure cheating and betrayal. Right? You are actually cheating those around you into believing that you are this kinda person. And on the other hand you are portraying yourself as another person to other people. This isn't a problem of split personality, like in the tamil movie Anniyan, although the concept of split personality was overdone to a large extent. Split personality, if i'm not wrong is like some disorder and the person isn't exactly sure that he is having such a disease/disorder. But leading a double life - the person is perfectly aware that he is actually living two lives and gains pleasure in doing so. Pardon me if i'm generalising too much when i say that these people gain pleasure living double lives. But that's what i have observed from the many who do that.
On the contrary, i know of some who have realised that they are leading such a disgusting life and are making an attempt to move a way from either one of the lives that they live. Trust me. It isn't easy for them. It's like having to kill a character in a story because you do not exactly know what to do with it. But that's a character in a story - that character doesn't exist. But this is you, human, real. You can't possibly kill yourself and expect to revive yourself as the other person. You cannot possibly totally change you identity into the other because people around you will notice the change or even the similarities.
All in all, the bottom line is, someday, the world (aiya, just exaggerating the fact that people around you) will come to know that you actually have been leading a double life. You cannot possbily hide away that fact. If you move away from that double life the moment you realise it, then maybe you are saved from the criticism from people. But the more you play with the lives of other using your two identities, the more you will have to regret later!
Adiyoz peeps.
Where the ends of a circle don't meet,
Ragha - the Random ¶ 6:54 PM
