Innocent Decision
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Where do i begin???
Have been thru alot of thinking, for like the past few hours. Trust me, just hours. It's not proportionate to the amount of thoughts that have ran thru my head!
Interestingly, im not yet stressed! haha :) Yay.!
So, yeah. Have taken this innocent decision, AGAIN.
Turning to the burning path. Why the burning path? For me to know, for u to find out!
Honestly, i think its time that i broke the silence. I have been quiet for too long. I know that im not the perfect person. Have been making alot of silly mistakes quite recently. But do i look like i care, that it would affect my decision? NO. Hell NO!!!
I know it would be an insult/embarrassment. But well, I'm ready to face it. If i have to live thru it, yeah, im okay. I would rather go thru that than be stuck with the simple, suggestively screwed life, that i have no control of now. Why? Mistakes again!
So, when im not in control of the life that i live, is it a life worth living? Of course lah, duh! NO!
So when the decision is made, does that change alot of things? Yesh, duh. Of course!
Prepared? Not exactly la. But well. It's a decision, filled with innocence!
Like i alwais say. Life alwais gives u two choices. U choose either one and never regret!
Regret is the biggest killer. It's the best way to commit suicide. Haha.
I know it is so unlike me to actually blog about things that happen in my life. But well, to all those frequent visitors, whom i heck whether u read or don't read my blog, it is just to say that i cant be bothered about what you think. Cos in the end the decision is mine.
Life is alwais never about others. Cos in the end, it's ur life. And you live it.
40 years down the road, you wouldnt wanna blame sumone for who you are now. Cos that same someone will say " i told u, but it was ur own choice."...
Ready to face that? then go ahead living for others!
It just tells me again and again, trust urself when u dun wanan trust sumone. when u cannot trust urself, then it's a life unworthy of living. Believing and trusting - two different issues, when looked at from the same perspective.
So.. returning to where it all began. again. never to return to where it ended!
Ragha :) ¶ 10:46 PM 0 Comments
Have been thru alot of thinking, for like the past few hours. Trust me, just hours. It's not proportionate to the amount of thoughts that have ran thru my head!
Interestingly, im not yet stressed! haha :) Yay.!
So, yeah. Have taken this innocent decision, AGAIN.
Turning to the burning path. Why the burning path? For me to know, for u to find out!
Honestly, i think its time that i broke the silence. I have been quiet for too long. I know that im not the perfect person. Have been making alot of silly mistakes quite recently. But do i look like i care, that it would affect my decision? NO. Hell NO!!!
I know it would be an insult/embarrassment. But well, I'm ready to face it. If i have to live thru it, yeah, im okay. I would rather go thru that than be stuck with the simple, suggestively screwed life, that i have no control of now. Why? Mistakes again!
So, when im not in control of the life that i live, is it a life worth living? Of course lah, duh! NO!
So when the decision is made, does that change alot of things? Yesh, duh. Of course!
Prepared? Not exactly la. But well. It's a decision, filled with innocence!
Like i alwais say. Life alwais gives u two choices. U choose either one and never regret!
Regret is the biggest killer. It's the best way to commit suicide. Haha.
I know it is so unlike me to actually blog about things that happen in my life. But well, to all those frequent visitors, whom i heck whether u read or don't read my blog, it is just to say that i cant be bothered about what you think. Cos in the end the decision is mine.
Life is alwais never about others. Cos in the end, it's ur life. And you live it.
40 years down the road, you wouldnt wanna blame sumone for who you are now. Cos that same someone will say " i told u, but it was ur own choice."...
Ready to face that? then go ahead living for others!
It just tells me again and again, trust urself when u dun wanan trust sumone. when u cannot trust urself, then it's a life unworthy of living. Believing and trusting - two different issues, when looked at from the same perspective.
So.. returning to where it all began. again. never to return to where it ended!
My smile will always be the same.
But behind the smile,
learn to read the difference.
Cos there's more to just than smiles.
Smile smile all the way.
Cos that's the natural me.
Try burning that smile.
Cos that's the path,
that the smile has brought me to.
The burning path.
Innocently decided,Ragha :) ¶ 10:46 PM 0 Comments
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
RANDOM THOUGHTS
27th November. An important date that follows after 1st November. Just this two important dates that i hold on to dearly and tightly. They bring in those happy memories that will last me a lifetime. Memories that i will never experience before because the people who are involved will never be back with me again. Yes, that hurts. But the memories cover them all up, making me smile :)
People whom i treasure will always remain deep in my heart. And this does not necessarily mean that i will shower you with love always. There have been times where there were problems. I never bothered to solve them. Why? My fear. That's a total different issue. How do expect me to be the same after all that happen - this is the only simplest way i can put it forth to u. I knowyou need me. My mere presence makes a difference in your life. Yeah, it used to be that way. And even now, i know, but that's what i do not want. But that's not how things work you know. I do keep memories, really "store" them in my heart. So well, you do not expect me to forget this that easily, do you???
So, the second one. And i'm afraid that will be the last. You can say it was the second. She knows it too. And that's why that decision. And here is my decision, "sorry, but no more!". I'm sorry if that was an impactful few days. It wasn't meant to be that way. It was supposed to be forever, but since you decided against it... I'm in no position to say "no". Not like things are going to work out, cos im not gona try. So yeah, Sorry again. :)
That's the scene i never wanna see again. Never saw one. But every resemblance of it makes me wanna scream out loud. Neither's fault. It never did happen that day. It happens every other day. I get to see it, but i choose not to! It only reminds me of you. And imagine going thru that everyday!!!
Something that i don't want - that's what i say sometimes. That's alright - that's what i say sometimes. Why? That's the question. Just another undecisive me, who circums to temptation! It's now or never, i tell myself, but it seems like its never gona be now! So is it a never? That's the question. So is the question "why" or "whether"??? See, a confused soul just confusing others! :)
Just remember my existence.
Cos that's what i want.
Don't think of what's gona happen
after im gone.
Don't waste your tears
when i'm gone.
Save it for the troubles
you will face later on.
Sinking float,
Ragha
¶ 12:45 AM 0 Comments
