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This is a snippet from my Unique Princess Blog:

“i miss Rugha*!
he is one guy who will always stand beside no matter what problems i encounter.
Somehow he seems to know whether i'm down or not.even without him realizing.
hahas.He won't msg me Often.
But the times he msg would usually be when i'm in deep shit.hahas
i dunno how he kn0ws.lol.Somehtimes when he ask h0w are y0u in msgs..i would feel like pouring all out to him.BUT, i just can't.
Donnu why.
chechi & uma akkah Still can.But rugha is just..hmm...ii also dunno.”

(*Rugha is the nickname Vaanthu gave me because I call her Vaanthu.)

Well, Vaanthu dearie. I have always noticed this minor gap in between us. Yes, we do enjoy ourselves a lot when we go out together as a group. But u never had shared your feelings (especially when u are sad) to me. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy. Or maybe because I was never serious whenever we talk. Or just that simply u ain’t comfortable. I can’t blame you for that la. Haha. It’s okay. Eventually I still get to know what’s happening in your life through either uma akka or dappa chechi.

"Maybe i ididn't like it. But she did. She was happy. So was i. But fuck that fella who wasn't."

"No change is permanent in life but changes are what's permanent in life."

"It's not my life, so why so many restrictions? Are you happy? YES! Cos she is." - That's what my heart said and i fully accept it.

"God gave man the brains to create what he needs but man decided to use it to create what he wants. That's when disaster begin".

Where devils have hearts,

Ragha

  ¶ 8:32 PM 0 Comments

  Been almost two weeks since i blogged. I didn't want to blog last week when i booked out because i wasn't in the right mood! Agitated, pissed, frustrated..

And so I'm done with my 8 weeks of BSLC (Basic Section Leader Course) at SISPEC, at Pasir Laba Camp, which is somewhere near Tuas/Boon Lay and is like far from my house. Now have been posted to Nee Soon camp, to be trained as a Medic Specialist. Now the camp is like super near to my house. Haha.

I bought this book last week - "The Alchemist". I'm not the type of person who goes to bookshops and buy books. I rarely visit the library and so it's quite unnatural for a non-avid-reader to actually step into a bookstore in search of a book. That book cost me $17. For people who know me, i usually am very thrifty in spending money and $17 according to me is ALOT. So why the hell did i spend money on that book?

I was first introduced to that book when i was in Sec 4. If i'm not wrong my RME (Religious and Moral Education) teacher was talking about that book. I was interested in that book at that time itself but wasn't exactly bothered to go borrow it or buy it. Somehow, recently, i got reminded of that book and was searching for it in the libraries. I couldn't find it. Went to Popular once and saw it there. But didn't have money at that point of time. So didn't buy it then. Two weeks after the first time i saw that book in Popular, if i'm not wrong in Toa Payoh Popular, i went back to the same place only to find out that there was no more copies of that book. Last week, went to Yishun, determined to buy that book. Went to Yishun Popular, saw that book, took it from the shelf, paid for it and started reading it!

Finished reading it in a day itself. It isn't a thick book. A rather thin one, which many would say isn't worth it for $17. But the content of the book did not make me regret the price i paid for it. It's an awesome book. Trust me.
It's about this shepherd who goes in search of his dream and all the valuable lessons he learns in his journey towards finding his dreams. Somehow many of the things mentioned in the book relate very closely to my life. If i'm not wrong, it would relate to many people's life.

Trust me people. It's a splendid book. I encourage everyone to read that book. The english used isn't that demanding. Simple english, reader friendly and very interesting. You don't wanna waste your time finding for it in the library or waste money buying it, just text me and i'm more than willing to lend it to you!!! Oh oh, it's written by Paulo Coelho, just in case you would wanna know.

When passions die,
Ragha  ¶ 1:34 PM 0 Comments

  Alot of things have been happening around me lately. Whether im not involved, they are just affecting me. Not exactly affecting me, but making me think. And like i alwais say, making Ragha think, is DISASTER!

So yeah. Went to the long awaited Nageswari poojai yesterday. It has been months since i went for it. Actually, one month only. Haha. The poojai was good. But what happened there was not something that i expected. It just put alot of questions in my head to think.

the main question being "Why do we have to meet the people we meet in life?"
Is it my choice that i made friends with those people or is it that GOD made the effort to cause us to be friends?
The people who i have met and have been making me wonder are all those that i met in temple. It makes more sense now for me to think that GOD has a part to play in it. GOD's just bored up there. It's not like she's got UNO cards or Monopoly to play to keep her occupied. All she's got are her creations, her children for her to play with. And so she moves us around in her own created "human chess". So that's why i end up meeting this people.
But then and again, the choice to maintain a friendship with them is my choice. I can't blame GOD. I can only blame myself if i find that the friendship is a bitter one.

A good example that the choice of maintaining a relationship with the people i meet is in my hands would be NavaZ. GOD made us meet. We decided to become close. We created NavaZ. And now we love each other madly. So when i made this choice, i didnt know how far this friendship would go. Now i know it has gone far, into a sibling-ship.
But as for the others... Those bitter relationship. I didnt know how far it will go... And now looking back, i don't think i wanna continue. Haha.

When people grow, they change. Physically and mentally. It's fun to watch someone grow, especially through their teenage years. Super fun. It's during this period of time where you can see them squirming through the hardship or just breezing past through it. And from this, you can roughly make out what kinda future they may lead or tend to lead. But then and again, it might change based on the experience that they went through.

Oh... Anchorberg isn't exactly nice! YUCK. the latter is better though. Haha.

Happie Birthday my Shangs darling and Han Jia Jun, my proud Best friend n to his twin sister too.

If fuck wasn't a bad word, i would be using it like pen ink for an economics A level paper (it's supposed to mean that i would be using it many many times, for those who dun get it).

i'm sick and tired of the 18. im waiting.



Trust begins where death ends,
Ragha


  ¶ 11:33 PM 0 Comments

  Met up with a few of my NavaZ darling last sunday before booking in. Was super fun. Super long since we had fun together. Met at RP. Spent quite a few hours there, talking and sharing and eating and 'drinking'. Haha. Wanna see some photos taken, visit "Divine Devil" frenster account (there's a link in my blog by the way).

That sunday outing made me think alot. Cos we had a lot to share, more like the girls had alot to share and i was merely sitting there listening. It was during then that i realised that although NavaZ has never acheived much as a a group, it is during these kinda times that the NavaZ spirit is really brought out and up to its greatest level. Indeed, i'm proud to boast of the existence of Navaz. Sadly, had to cut the outing short, cos i was in a rush back to camp. So coming back to the many things that i thought about after that day's outing.

There are two types of sorrows. One type being those that you have to share and not keep within yourself, which will help you lessen the burden you have in your heart. The other type being those that you cannot share, simply because sharing it just adds on more burden within yourself and keeping silent about it is just the best remedy. My Navaz has people of both kinds. Interesting eh.

I also found out that people who wear contacts lens tend to give it as a reason when they cry, saying that the contact lens are making their eyes a bit uncomfy, that's the reason for their tears. Like hello, i do wear contacts too and i can differentiate between a contacts problem and a heart problem.

I also realised that not everyone is living the best life. They all have problems and some are willing to share it out because they want to let the others know what's going on in their life. Some do not want to share what's going in their life because they are embarassed to do so. Some just don't want people to know about it because they feel that they are passing their burden to others.

Love is all over the air. Whenever you love someone, you tend to wish the best for them. You even go to the extend to sacrifice somethings just for them. But at the same time, like i always say, nothing is permanent in life. So someday, somehow, that person will leave you or you leave the person. Whichever it maybe, knowing that death is the only power that is able to take away your loved ones without your permission, is the best way to lead your life. Just because that person is gone doesn't mean you go along with that person. It just means that you have now a bigger role to play - you play your role and the role your loved one played. I know its pretty much confusing because it's so random!

I just wanna tell this to a particular someone, provided she reads my blog la.
When death gets you two apart, remember that she's gone for good. Be it now or later, someday she will be gone. You can't expect her to stay with you forever, that's unfair to her. Deep down i wish that she wouldnt be gone too. But, one thing for sure, whichever day she is gone, she knows that she is leaving her responsibilties to a responsible girl. When she is gone, you have many responsibilties to take over - you know it. Be prepared, whether now or later, someday she has to go and you will have to face it! It's not whether she was a good person or how much she helped people. Her death would have been written long before she was born and it has to happen the way its written. Prayers do help, but death cannot be changed. everyone has to go one day or another. GOD is always with her. Someday she'll be GOD herself. Trust me, it's not nearing. Her time will come, not now but far later...

:::::::

Personally, i feel that i have settled the dangling issues with my ex girlfriend. Well, it's almost two years plus since we broke and till saturday, i felt that there were issues that were left dangling - bascially we hadn't put a fullstop to that long relationship we had. That's what i personally felt. I dunno about her la. But after that week's msging and some small reflection and some msging back, i think we have finally, more like i have finally put a firm fullstop to that relationship. I know for sure that this fullstop will strengthen the friendship bond that we currently have.

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It's late. Gotta go sleep. Am tired, super duper tired after the week's long outfield training. Nites.


Where smiles cry,
Risk Ranger RaghaBoi  ¶ 12:36 AM 0 Comments